Five FREE WEEKLY Finds in the City

Week of December 26th, 2010




1. Free Salsa Lessons Thursday Night

8-10 pm

Club Irie

302 S. 11th



2. FREE Play and Admission for Kids

With a lunch purchase

Monday thru Thursday

10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.

Skate Daze

3616 S. 132nd Street



3. Free Admission til Dec. 31st

Sarpy County Historical Museum

2402 Clay Street

Bellevue



4. No cover Acoustic Show

Soaring Winds Vineyards

Sundays 2-5pm

17111 S. 138th Street, Springfield



5. Free Theatre Training Troupe classes

(Does not include make up class)

Plattsmouth Library

9:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m.

Must Register: 296-4154.

The 5 worst times to dump someone

For many years being the consoling friend most devastated dumped friends turn to, I’m dumbfounded by the tactless timing the dumper does. We feel desired while enjoying time with a potential mate. Then the unexpected: the heart wrenching dump dialogue.

Here are a few tips on how to handle the timing better and hopefully ease the pain.

1. Bad time: Right before dinner comes

There you are sitting in a quiet romantic booth staring at the menu. The waiter takes your order and leaves. Then your heart gets stabbed when your date starts off a conversation with the dreaded: “I have to tell you something…”. Choking back tears in a crowded place while waiting for a meal will ruin anyone’s appetite.

Some believe that if bad news is given in a public place, it will detract a person from making an embarrassing scene. This is not always the case.

Better time: If you’re planning on calling it quits to someone, give them privacy. A better time to do it is in their home after the date. This gives you a chance to leave and leaves them in the comforts of their home to cry. If you’ve only been dating for a short time, in your car would be fine. But be aware you may have to wait for them to get out of your car. Some will desperately ask why and you may have to have a long depressing discussion with lots of reassuring sentences.


2. Bad time: On the way to the date.

Prepped and primped ready to impress in public then as you sit in the passenger side captive, they slam on the brakes to your heart. Rambling about how they’ve met someone else. You think to yourself, “Dang it! What a waste of pretty!”

Better time: After the date either in the person’s home or in the car. Minimize ruining a perfectly good time or evening. Stay cordial to the very end.


3. Bad time: Sunday or the start of the week

Relaxing sleeping in Sunday morning, snuggled up on the sofa until the afternoon watching reruns with nothing to do. Or having lunch with the family after church service then lightening strikes upon you and hell just froze over. You get a phone call or text that puts a dramatic freeze on your soul.


Better time: Toward the end of the week around their weekend time. Even most managers know this rule. Give bad news at the end of the day or week. This allows the person time to wallow, letting out the cries of self-pity, sulking in internalizing. And hopefully get it out of their system and start their second day off feeling refreshed and moving on toward another goal.

Most of us start our week with a to do list a mile long stretched out over the week. Mix in heart broken emotions will get anyone’s concentration level frozen with dazed confusion. For those that know the next day appearances of crying, it isn’t pretty.


4. Bad time: In front of someone or through someone.

The phone rings, it’s your best friend you haven’t talked to in a month. She wants to share some good news and bad news. First, she’s in love! Second, she says she wants to come clean about something. Then you hear a recognizable voice as if they were on the phone the whole time listening. The love of your life has just confessed, your ears turned deaf.

Breaking up on any social networks, three way call, or leaving personal belongings on your ex’s doorstep is off limits. The only time to bring a friend in is if you feel the person would get violent and you need a witness.

Better time: Alone one on one or over the phone. Give a person respectful privacy when delivering bad news. They will most likely slam on you behind your back to a trusted friend anyway. Don’t give them even more reasons to raise the heated tension borderline hatred by smashing the barrier lines of embarrassment.


5. Bad Time: Right after sex or getting an expensive gift.

After giving your beau a beautiful piece of pricey jewelry for the holiday season, the evening turns intensely hot and heavy, probably the best you both have had. Sharing smooth sensuality, an intimate meaningful moment holding each other afterwards, then slap in the face they want to break it off. The tender caress turned into a whipping cat of nine tails with no lives left.

Better time: If you are planning to break up with a person, avoid both; sex and gifts. The person will only end up feeling used. The break up is a rip of the heart enough. If you planned on breaking up with them don’t set out to get your last wrapped packages you think you deserve to get. They may stuff something down your chimney in revenge.

Breaking up by technology is a lot more impersonal, but is the most preferred way to break things off - through phone, email, or text. It is a way to avoid seeing hurtful expressions on a person’s face or lack there of. To not give in to changing your mind simply to try to ease someone else’s pain but yet hurt inside yourself as you aren’t being true to your own soul.

To avoid a call, text, or email from the broken hearted is a lot easier to do than to sense the person’s pain whose heart you broke. Sure it may hurt, but it hurts them just as much to feel guilty to speak to someone they know is hurting because of them.

Try your best to ease someone’s pain by lovingly giving them their time and privacy in a comforting place to grieve through the process. Give them the respectful decency to weep in the privacy of their own comfortable home where they have access to hug a pillow and plenty of tissues.

Five times When NOT to call when you’re JUST DATING

In the beginning, when you’re just dating occasionally in the spare time that’s left, the relationship and boundary building begins from the first attractive contact. Most successful single people have schedules to keep their lives structured. The older we are, the more we value our time and sleep. Follow these time rules to figure out how to get in - on that time.


1. Don’t call Past 10:00 pm on a school night

I refer to work nights as school nights since traditionally kids should be disciplined not to take calls past 10:00 pm if they need to be at school by 8:00 am the next day. This limited activity time frame also applies for those tempting texts that you are urging to send or reply to. Respect the sleep in this overstimulated world of technology.



2. Don’t call before 8:00 am.

Sleep is precious to function properly. Like a school day, most people need a couple hours to wake up and get ready for their day. Until you get to know their routine, how much time they need to prepare for their day, or what speed of a waker upper they are, please don’t wake them up unnecessarily. They may have pushed the snooze button three times on their cell phone and unintentionally hang up on you.



3. Don’t call before Noon or after 5:00 pm on the weekends.

If you’re just dating, then understand they have the freedom to date other people, who they may have brought home from the night before. Don’t call after 5:00 p.m. especially past 7:00 pm on the weekends, they may be on a date. Don’t assume they’re not out with someone else. This can give them the impression you are too creepy eager, checking up on them, or already becoming possessive of their time.



4. Don’t call two hours before you want to go with them- to ask them out.

This is not ample enough time for some people to prepare. Most women need to plan for the occasion. Especially, do not call them on the weekend to plan a date on the same day. This sends a mixed message. This says you may have chosen them as a back up date. Your original date, you planned days in advance with, cancelled. Or you do not have any other prospects and desperate for a date.



5. Don’t call or text more than a few times if they have not answered your first one.

If they haven’t replied to you in a few hours or a few days, this means they may just be busy. It isn’t personal, single people tend to fill their time with a lot of activities with supportive friends and family. As successful people, we have many things to do to maintain that status. Technology and information is taking away a lot of our human connections, so some of us may only have enough time to give short spans of attention to one then move on to the next. Our social media accounts, texts, and emails are usually limited to a certain amount of space and characters to communicate. This spills over into our personal lives.

The 2 best nights for 1st dates

Hold on there eager beaver, before you jump to read ahead, I highly recommend reading the reasoning. The first date can lead to more, if it goes successfully. First dates are nerve wracking enough as it is. The wondering, wishing, and worrying can really throw your game off. The adrenaline is pumping, endorphins are churning and your ego is boosted. It’s flattering to feel someone is interested in you. You don’t want to foul it up.


Keep in mind, women like to plan ahead, at least a few days in advance. This helps us decide will it be worth shaving our legs for? Traditionally, women are detailed oriented communicators, so the more details about the date, the better. If you give her some idea or you both can agree on a mutually interesting thing to do, she can dress for it.

Do your best not to disappoint her last minute, it will only add more time for you to wait for her to get dressed – again. Last minute changes are disappointing, this can give her the impression you did not value the opportunity enough to make sure it was well organized. Miminize that frustration level, she may not enjoy the evening as much filled with emotional upset and have that feeling associated with you. This will then take you longer to repair that ill mindset.

Make a few phone calls and ask interested in her questions to get to know her lifestyle and work schedule. This should be discussed in order to find the appropriate time frames. What you’re aiming for is a day in the middle of the week or her Friday night, her first night of her weekend, even if it’s on a Monday.

If she works the traditional 8:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m. banker business hours then you have to work around that. If she has kids who have activities, work around that. If her work schedule is the traditional Monday through Friday day hours then the following days are ideal.


1. Wednesday

Wednesdays are usually what I call bowling or bridge nights. Working for over twenty years in telemarketing sales and waiting tables, I’ve discovered Wednesday nights are the designated weeknight for a social activity. Be it church, choir, family game night, bridge club, book club, dart league, and so on. People are out of their homes or hosting in their homes. It helps break the monotony of a long work week.

But do not invite her to your social group quite yet or in your home. This is too much pressure for a first date. If you are in a social group, make the decision whether you will skip it to go out on a date. If you want to go bowling with your date, just be sure it is at a different location than where your league meets to avoid interruptions from curious associates. This night is about you two getting to know each other, not others getting to know more about your private life.

This night is ideal for a two to three hour date. If she works in the morning, be sure to have her home at a decent hour so she will be functional at work the next day. Avoid tempting her with a bar atmosphere or a late night coffee filled with caffiene as you do not want to be the blame of her poor performance at work. Don't drink alot on the first date. She may conclude from the impression you enjoy drinking too much and it may be a personal problem she may not want to deal with.

2. Friday

Friday nights are what I have observed as date nights. If either of you work the 8-5 Mon-Fri routine, this night helps you look forward to something for the weekend. However, it also helps you to use it as a scape goat if the night is not working well. The excuse ‘I’m really tired’ could also be the truth though, so don’t feel really disappointed or assuming she’s not interested if your date does not want to party til 2 am with you.

If she’s ready to go home, then respect that and take her home, you would rather her have a good image of you than a poor one. Its only a first a date, if you want to hang out all night afterwards, then drop her off and call your buddies.

Showing her you respect her well being gives her a good image of you. Whether it be the last one or not, she at least won’t feel guilty about doing something she may have regretted. You can move on and know at least you or her didn’t waste more time on something that wasn’t going to work out and either one of you would be miserable.

Don’t assume instantly she isn’t interested in a second date. It could really be a number of legitimate reasons: If she has kids, her body is used to going to sleep at a decent hour in order for her to be up hours before her kids. Her anticipation to see you all week kept her up with excitement. She may also have something planned in the morning.

Follow up with a phone call in a couple days. Call her on Sunday or Monday evening, the planning the week ahead days, to see if she would be interested in a second date either on Wednesday or Friday or her mid week night or first night of the weekend.

Five tips for guys women want you to know and follow

Why is that so many of the most popular relationship self help books are mostly written by men but mostly read by women? Why is the rate of women pursuing more education and higher status jobs rising far higher than men? Guys! If you want to be pursued more then be that excellence we are reaching for. We know about it, we’ve seen it, and we want it.

Here, are only a few of the first of many cliff notes collected from a combo of master minds. Don’t think that this is a limited all-inclusive list. Come back for more tips.

1. Don’t complain about money you owe for alimony and especially child support.
How a woman can interpret this is your lack of value of your children and possibly of her. Child support does not end at the age of 18, even though you may be court ordered to pay a certain amount until then.

Women are future thinkers, we know there’s college, weddings, cars, hospital bills, and the occasional phone calls of “Can I come live with you for a while?” If you’re complaining about your financial obligation to your offspring now, this gives us the message you may not be ready and willing to invest in your current relationships either.

2. Don’t remind her that she will come second to your children.
She should already know, and shown by actions, that you will sacrifice for your offspring. If she has kids she will agree- kids first. However, no one wants to be reminded continuously they come second in anyone’s life, especially if you have already established an intimate committed connection. Too much of that will make her feel insignificant to you.

You can say you will put your kids first, but women appreciate reassurance and want to feel included in your life as well. Reassure her, if you are truly committed to one another, that you will communicate and do your best to include her as she is also part of your life at this point. Both sets of kids are part of both of your lives and both parents should be willing to do their part to be there for each other’s kids as well. Back up your “I’m there for my kids” statements by not complaining about point number 1.

3. Don’t think cause you’re dating someone with kids, the woman will take care/’mother’ you too.
Women want men who are providing and supportive too. An initiator, a good example to her kids, and one less person she has to worry so much about who will take more of her energy. All of us need to replenish our own energies to be better more enjoyable people to be around. If you can help her refuel her energy by taking some burdens off her hands, she may just use that energy to give back to you.

You want to be appreciated? Then do something she will appreciate. You want trust? Then be reliable, stable, someone she can brag to her friends with pride. We, of course, really, truly don’t like reminding you to do something, and yes, may get stuck in repeat mother role. It happens, but we expect you to be a responsible grown man who is just as domesticated as we are. We are future thinkers.

Please change the toilet paper roll completely, not just stack it on top of the getting low roll still on the holder. It can end up in the toilet and clog it. If you do that and that happens we will silently enjoy visualizing you fixing it. We are also more attracted to making love when you’ve bathed, smell nice, and laying on clean sheets you made the bed with. Now that’s someone we like to come home to.


4. Don’t complain about your ex so much.
Complaining about your ex will make us think you might complain about us. It also brings up painful emotions within you. Your emotions can affect your logic, reasoning, and rationality. Many of our decisions are made with emotions. How we feel about something. If we sense you are angry a lot, plainly, it isn’t attractive. We don’t want to deal with your angry side and have you take it out on us.

It is a new beginning with us, we want to have an enjoyable time just as much as you do. If it gets too much, find another outlet to vent and especially avoid using us as a punching bag during sex. Every once in awhile, angry built up anticipation make up sex is hot, but only when we are making up, not dispensing anger onto us.

5. Don’t compare us to your ex.
Don’t compare or predict because your ex did this or that that your current love will or won’t do the same. If she was a skanky whore, that could be one of the reasons why you are not with her anymore. Don’t use it as a manipulative tool to make us try to do things that will ‘impress’ you by trying to use phrases like: “well, she used to do that for me” or preface a request with, “I know you’re just gonna say no”.

Your ex isn’t here for me to validate what she did for you and it must not have been enough for you to stay with her. If you say I’m just gonna say no, I just might say no and not even encourage you to continue. If you set me up for an automatic no, you’ve given me the mind set that you are expecting me to say no. Avoid that manipulative pressure, just talk to me about what you want, like, and don’t like. It’s a lot easier to follow, consider, and agree on a compromise.

Chores burn calories but how much?

We all know doing chores burns calories but how much? How can we burn more indoors and boost our moody winter blues mentality too? How can we maintain our all around health while staying put? Cloudy gray winter days make us tired and sleepy, too uninspired to move. Immobility brings on melancholy, leading to seasonal blues. Winter’s frigid temperatures de-motivates us from getting out of our cozy homes to go to the gym, but be reassured that we can burn calories indoors and boost our mentality with chores. Blast out and attack a few household duties to get back into better spirits.

City wide closed down snowy conditions makes going to the gym cumbersome if not impossible. It takes as much time, if not more, prepping to face the frozen elements than the time we’re in the gym. First, we change into our sweat working out outfits, only to have to wash them later or pack them in our gym bag to carry. Second, comes layers covering any exposed skin. Boots get sloppy in the sand, salt and snow mix. Of course apply the gym rule: Please don’t wear outside shoes on the machines. Then don’t forget, sitting in your car while it warms up, if you’re one of the unfortunate ones who doesn't have an automatic car starter.

Reconsider doing a few chores in the home to raise your body temperature and mood. I wonder if the Gods of Nature designed the winter slowdown to captivate us inside, forcing us to deal with our home base mess. Our hu'man'caves throughout the year settled, collected dust, and accumulated piles of stuff with mental labels of ‘I’ll do that later’ since last spring. Facing you, reminding you it’s still there, hasn’t gone anywhere, so fight inertia, stay in motion by simply conquering the mound.

Self talk your way to know the most routine chores burns calories and getting organized will feel rewarding.

According to the website www.healthstatus.com calculates:

For someone weighing 140 lbs to maintain, these chores can burn this many calories:


Brushing teeth 5 Min 13 Calories
Cooking 40 Min 112 Calories
Ironing 10 Min 23 Calories
Mopping 15 Min 71 Calories
Rearranging furniture 20 Min 140 Calories
Showering 20 Min 89 Calories
Sitting/Resting 30 Min 33 Calories
Talking on phone 30 Min 33 Calories
Walking up stairs 2 Min 17 Calories
Writing 30 Min 33 Calories

*A good suggestion to burn more is to combine some exercises while doing these routine chores such as: dancing, jogging or marching in place, leg lift reps, squats, and lunges. Or even tighten, hold, and release a few muscles while sitting.

Psychologically, the feeling of being organized and clean brings a good feeling of accomplishment and relief. Relief you can find your things with function and order. It’s healthy to throw out, or put things in organized out of sight storage, those things that have a negative memory anchor so you can move on to better. Looking back at all your stuff can give you the opportunity to reflect on growth and be prepared for new experiences. Cleaning out the clutter helps clear fresh space for new memories.

So, even if you can’t get the chance to run in place like a caged hamster on a machine, there’s ways you can still get the exercise and organization you need by cleaning. Add a few more body movements to burn more calories and attack a few tasks on your built up to do list to balance your insides when the outside is too cold to deal with.


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